Giant-Size Blog-Thing

...free from axe-wielding, psychotic Santas. 

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F7VX3Z0J_k


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXn1p9TnM2g&feature=related


Or if you prefer some British restraint - and a knockout Joan Collins...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Xn6B4_srI

Well, let's find out.

In the spirit of a recent coffeefortwo posting, and as the happy result of time spent that should have been devoted to much more pressing tasks, here is a listing of movie quotes from fave films of mine, dating back to 1977 (give or take a couple of years). You're welcome to try to come up with their sources, and we humbly ask; please, no Googling or search engine...ing, ok? Use your cranium, and see what you come up with. As you can see, I've come up with far more that the 16 that coffefortwo posted, but I've followed his rules, albeit with one exception - there is one director represented twice (and that was an indescribable sacrifice on my part, lemme tell ya). And none of these films duplicate coffeman's list. Have at it, troops...

(Now, new and improved, with added production dates!)
 

1) Learned a new word today. Atom bomb. It was like God taking a photograph. (1987) EMPIRE OF THE SUN from coffeefortwo

 

2) I've often thought that there should be beauty contests for the insides of bodies. (1988) Well, what other director would be so concerned with the human interior? The first of two Cronenbergs - DEAD RINGERS

 

3) I see you've managed to get your shirt off. GALAXY QUEST from coffeefortwo

 

4) But what of you, my darling? For no one on earth knows you better than I do. And if you've read thus far, I know you'll never bring yourself to destroy this letter, nor will you ever show it to anyone else. And it will gradually dawn on you that your life might have taken a very different course had you simply been able to open your heart to another. And you'll often return to this letter. You'll read it again and again in the years to come until you no longer have to read what you know by heart. And you'll cherish it as a source of pride in the face of an uncaring world. (1997) The heart-breaking fax that Giles De'Ath sends Ronnie Bostock - LOVE AND DEATH ON LONG ISLAND

 

5) Sir, don't you think all these deletion marks in the transcripts make it look as though you do nothing but swear? NIXON from robertaroberts

 

6) Oh, him? He's harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS. STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME from satch page

 

7) Remember, angle of incidence equals angle of reflectives. In other words, if you can see them, they can see you. So be alert. (2002) There were a LOT of Campbell Scott lines to choose from in ROGER DODGER

 

8) Welcome to Sesame Street, kids. Today's word is 'expiation'. (2007) The newest movie on the list - THE MIST

 

9) In 22 seconds, I could break your fucking spine. In 22 seconds, I could pinch your head off like a fucking insect and spin it all over the fucking pavement. In 22 seconds, I could put 22 bullets inside your ridiculous gut. What I seem unable to do in 22 seconds is to keep you from ruining my film! (1980) THE STUNT MAN from coffeefortwo

 

10) So there, you got your happy ending. Now get out! Nowhere on your ticket does it say you can spend the night here! KIDS IN THE HALL: BRAIN CANDY from robertaroberts

 

11) Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging. BULLETS OVER BROADWAY from hmartins82

 

12) This is a red wine glass. Can I have my water in a water glass? THE PLAYER from coffeefortwo

 

13) When rich people do something nice for you, you give 'em a pot of jam. SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION from casionqueen

 

14) Finally there would be a thingamajig that would bring everyone together, even if it kept them apart spatially. THE HUDSUCKER PROXY from robertaroberts

 

15) I promised her my eternal love, and I actually thought that for a couple of hours. DANGEROUS LIAISONS from robertaroberts

 

16) Circumcised mediocrity is screwing my wife! (1989) Guess which one said this - THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER

 

17) With endless love, we left you sleeping. Now we're sleeping with you. Don't wake up.(2003) A poignant note left to a once-comatose son in 28 DAYS LATER.
 

18) You know, I believe we have two lives…the life we learn with and the life we live with after that. (1984) THE NATURAL

 

19) Pal, it's after four in the morning. All of the helicopter pilot bars are closed. (1988) Arguably the least-seen film on this list - MIRACLE MILE

 

20) The universe is a pretty big place. It's bigger than anything anyone has ever dreamed of before. So if it's just us... seems like an awful waste of space. Right? (1997) CONTACT from coffeefortwo

 

21) Sometimes the spaghetti likes to be alone. BIG NIGHT from coffeefortwo

 

22) I love being bathed in the sink - such a feeling of security. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND from robertaroberts

 

23) First of all, let's be real friendly here, okay? My name is Norm. Secondly, your coaching days are over. HOOSIERS from hmartins82

 

24) You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right? (1996) Wow; I'm surprised that no one heard Agador Spartacus in this quote from THE BIRDCAGE. Come on, Gloria, let's go...

 

25) Let’s buy gifts for the dead! (1993) Jeff Bridges and Rosie Perez go power shopping in FEARLESS

 

26) When you see the girl in the picture that was shown to you earlier today, you will say, "this is the girl". The rest of the cast can stay, that's up to you. But that lead girl is "not" up to you. Now you will see me one more time, if you do good. You will see me, two more times, if you do bad. Good night. MULHOLLAND DRIVE from hmartins82

 

27) Oh shit! A vigil. (1996) No, it's not me on a typical night before Easter, but a line from CITIZEN RUTH

 

28) One time I had a friend who asked me if I'd like to play the piccolo but I said no. A MIGHTY WIND from robertaroberts (Technically, this is from one of the deleted scenes, but it's my favorite line from the movie....shame on me!)

 

29) No one could understand how Mrs. Lisbon and Mr. Lisbon, our math teacher, could produce such beautiful creatures. THE VIRGIN SUICIDES from coffeefortwo

 

30) I was in the jungle - the bush we called it - for approximately nine months...I saw things. They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles.  THE IN-LAWS from coffeefortwo

 

31) When I'm high, I AM Odetta. HAIRSPRAY from coffeefortwo

 

32) Maybe it's better not to be the best. Then you can lose and it's OK. SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER from coffeefortwo

 

33) It is kind of you to indulge your elders in their vices. Just as I indulge the young in theirs. GODS AND MONSTERS from hmartins82

 

34) You pair of deuces lookin' for work, I suggest you get your scrawny asses in here pronto. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN from robertaroberts

 

35) Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes? BEING JOHN MALKOVICH from coffeefortwo

 

36) I mean, I'm a wheelchair girl now. And it's hard to pretend that I'm a beautiful rock star. Remember, Daddy? That beautiful stage that you were gonna build for me. You were gonna light it with nothing but candles. THE SWEET HEREAFTER from firstofforth

 

37) In spite of all his imperfections, I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE from robertaroberts (so many Pacino lines to choose from!)

 

38) Don't you think one of the charms of marriage is that it makes deception a necessity for both parties? (1999) Nicole Kidman gets the moves put on her in EYES WIDE SHUT

 

39) I've stood on the shoulders of life and I've never gotten down into the dirt to build, to erect a foundation of my own. I've flown too high on borrowed wings. QUIZ SHOW from hmartins82

 

40) They're driving me CRAZY. These Baptists are stupid. Stupid. STUPID. ED WOOD from coffeefortwo

 

41) As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "I" in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he was talking about. SHAUN OF THE DEAD from robertaroberts

 

42) Now, that is a big trunk. It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly. WONDER BOYS from coffeefortwo

 

43) You're starting to sound like some Wes Carpenter flick or something. SCREAM from firstofforth

 

44) They bury the dead so quickly. They should leave them lying around for months. (1996) As in, "by the side of the road." The second feature from Cronenberg, CRASH

 

45) I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I'll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th' ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you've gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. BEING THERE from hmartins82

 

46) Checkers - shut up. Or I'll feed you to the Chinese. DICK from coffeefortwo

 

47) 25 years? All I'm guilty of is bad taste. THE PEOPLE VS. LARRY FLYNT from firstofforth

 

48) You gave me my first glimpse of a real life. Then you asked me to go on with the false one. No one can endure that. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE from coffeefortwo

 

49) And it's a happy ending: Wayward husband comes to his senses, returns to his wife, with whom he has established a long and sustaining love. Heartless young woman left alone in her arctic desolation. Music up with a swell; final commercial. And here are a few scenes from next week's show. (1976) NETWORK from coffeefortwo

 

50) This is my apartment. Women don't come here. (1980) They don't come to mine either, Julien - AMERICAN GIGOLO

 

...what a pep rally sounds like in a gymnasium at an all-girl high school? 

Sweet Jesus, will my ears ever stop ringing?

As the summer days dwindle down to a precious few, we ask the following, not necessarily mutually-exclusive questions...

1) What is the perfect summer movie, and why?

and/or

2) What summer film (of any year) provided your favorite summer movie-going experience, and why? (Quality of the movie itself need not be a factor, for those of you who, say, lost your virginity during a screening of "The Avengers.")

In tribute to my new place of employment, I offer the following query...

What is your favorite movie with a high school setting?

As further proof that the Lord God Jehovah has a sense of humor that is, to say the least, skewed, Yours Truly has recently been named the Director of Choral Activities at Trinity High School in River Forest, Illinois. Why skewed, you may ask? Well, Trinity is a rather tony suburban Chicago college preparatory school…for girls. Yes, my friends – especially my friends who drooled over Brittany Spears in her Catholic schoolgirl come-hither attire – this high school, run by Sinsinawa Dominican nuns, has just hired the safest man in Christendom to wrest exquisitely beautiful sounds out of their brightest and best en ensemble. I have been spending the last several weeks finding treble choir repertoire – something of a challenge in that I have always had men in the choirs I directed, and never had to peruse the SSA bins in my friendly neighborhood music store. Adding no small amount of complexity is the fact that I have long held that women should teach voice to women, men should teach voice to men, and anything else is jest purt near unnacherul, dagnabbit. I have my work cut out for me. Also, in addition to directing the choirs – a full ensemble, two chamber choirs and a liturgical / gospel choir -  I am also teaching music history, vocal pedagogy and music theory, because the classes are almost 90 minutes in length. Yikes, that’s a lotta time to fill! I am also still at St. Vincent Ferrer Parish, so this candle, most likely three-headed, will be burned at all ends. I am very excited, though, for this means that, after far too many years in the wilderness, I finally have a choir – indeed choirs – of my own. My first piece on my first day? John Willams’ “Exsultate Justi” from the soundtrack of “Empire of the Sun.” I just think that’s cool. Plus, I am in the process of doing something to Billy Joel’s “Lullabye” that is either going to sic his attorneys on me, or will get him to visit the school for a very special concert. Wish me luck, everyone

Okay, I’m scarcely the first blogger in the world to start one of these things and then abandon it in favor of other things like, oh, eating and sleeping, but there seems to have been enough interest and encouragement from others to get this party re-started, so let’s piggyback on the broad shoulders of my friend coffeefortwo and switch the Sunday Cinema Symposium to a Friday Film Forum, and we’ll re-boot with questions inspired by the conclusion of VH1-EW’s World Series of Pop Culture…

1) What one single film would you be confident enough to take on any relevant question to demonstrate your mastery of it?
2) What single question about that film would so completely demonstrate said mastery that it would leave the nation agog at your prowess?

 

 

1.     Brokeback Mountain – We were all blindsided. I remember well helping fellow employees set up a “Shrek 2” standee when I told them about a “Gay cowboy” movie that promised an enviable pedigree, but even the more enlightened minds among us had a hard time resisting dubious laughter. More fools us. Even with Ang Lee at the helm, few could have anticipated the sparse, spare, Spartan telling of a love consummated in silence, dictated by silence, surrounded by silence, and, in the end, leaving only silence. For those of us expecting a spiritual experience, Lee delivered his masterstroke with the calm, confidant resolve of a man who did not require dialogue to communicate the significance of love and the insignificance of its all-too-human vessels. Finally, it is my #1 film for 2006 because, until the very moment the lights dimmed in the auditorium, I did not think such a movie possible. I stand, corrected, in awe and appreciation, and for reasons that seem to multiply with each passing day.

2.     A History of Violence – With Stanley Kubrick directing God’s home movies (that is, if the Almighty is willing to put up with multiple re-takes), David Cronenberg now inherits the mantel of our most clear-eyed, clinical, uncompromising filmmaker, and mercifully refrains from putting his casts through abject purgation. No, instead he gets them to do it willingly; how else to explain some of the year’s most intimate, revealing, excruciatingly personal performances? In CronenWorld, Indiana still looks and feels like Canada (earth tones are seldom as chilly as they are in his films), and the viscera of the human body still lies under a fragile sheath of skin. And we should all be thankful that a CronenHurt collaboration, so logical and intriguing on paper, more than lives up to its potential.

3.     Capote – Here’s to the innate otherness of the Writer, and few writers were more, uh, other than Truman Capote. A film on his life, even one that circumscribes a central, pivotal sequence, would appear a fool’s errand at the outset. How do you capture one of the 20^th Century’s most outlandish personalities on celluloid? Play the role too large, and you risk an incredulous audience; too small, and the essence of Truman, a man who virtually lived in a chair next to Dick Cavett, would remain uncaptured. Friends Futterman and Hoffman needed absolute trust in one another’s gifts, and the perceptive direction of Miller, to craft the other great man-to-man love story of 2006.

4.     Good Night, and Good Luck – Oh, how I would love to find out that this script was typed – hammered out on an old Smith-Corona with a ferocity that would pierce the heavy-bond paper. It is both acted and directed as if it was, with an unyielding respect for the power of our verbiage and the ramifications when it is used in a cavalier fashion by little minds with brobdignagian agendas. And I am amazed at how Clooney was able to find a texture that both pays tribute to the smoky ambiance of the Golden Age of Television, yet without slavishly recreating what largely exists in the memory of those of a certain age. Bravo, George. Keep seeking the truth. In a time when many in the so-called information industry have abdicated their responsibility to veritas, let the artists step into the breach.

5.     Munich – Spielberg says he loves to get to a location and create his films right on the spot. “Munich” feels thusly constructed; an impromptu achievement from someone who internalizes the vocabulary of cinema as naturally as humans breathe. Incredibly, he is able to accomplishment the most Hitchcockian suspense of his career (never more so that in the scene when we wait for that bomb to go off amid a hall of crowded hotel rooms), and yes, I am including “Jaws” and “Duel”. If an eye for an eye succeeds merely in rendering the whole world blind, we are fortunate to have a clear-minded artist at the top of his game to deliver such an eloquent cautionary tale on the futility of revenge.

6.     The Squid and the Whale – Two identical pieces of china, dropped from the same height and in the same location, will shatter in radically different ways. Thus it is with the Cinema of Divorce, a sub-genre that is so attractive to filmmakers because its inciting incident is given; create the backstory and arc to meet your vision. Since Baumbach’s “vision” is actually his vision, that first-person resonance drives home scene after heartbreaking scene, with stellar performances from Daniels, Linney and especially Jesse Eisenberg. In a year in which one of the landmark films dealt with a couple incapable of expressing their inchoate love because they lacked the language, “Squid” demonstrates that verbal skills, ultimately, don’t mean a damn thing.

7.     Match Point – No, this is not a “return to form” for Woody Allen, because he has never made a film that feels anything remotely like this. That it succeeds as splendidly as it does is a testimony to his considerable gifts, and to the indefatigable nature of his production schedule (honestly, who else can you name who can produce a movie every year that, even when they flop, still generate some of the most passionate discussion among those of us who care about this art form?). Allen follows in the path of Scorsese (“The Age of Innocence”) and Altman (“Gosford Park”) of taking the opportunity to change focus of class and status to further illuminate a sub-theme of their work. In Allen’s case, it’s guilt; the emotional and legal consequences of sin and crime, and the way the universe shrugs when those consequences are absent. File it next to “Crime and Misdemeanors,” but it definitely belongs on the Woody shelf – even if it is sui generis.

8.     Syriana – A film that manages to luxuriate in its complexity, as befits the subject matter, it demands repeated viewings to grasp its Weltanschauung, and no, you may not completely wrap your brain around every element or be able to incorporate it into a cohesive whole. Fine. The issues it delineates are among the most pressing of our day and age, and they deserve a treatment that is neither slick nor simplistic. I am grateful that they did not receive it, and that, for its flaws, may the reports of it and other 2006 releases as a harbinger of the return of the social consciousness of the 70s be spot-on true.

9.     The 40 Year Old Virgin – Said it before, and I’ll say it again; the most effective comedies, whether their goal is the guffaw or the gross-out, can only achieve laughs if they genuinely love their characters, and I consider the time spent with Andy and friends to be precious. The script is a marvelous juggling act, allowing every character a chance to both play straight or sink one in the one-liner basket, and never at the expense of characterization. And to pull in another overused sports metaphor, once that honesty is in place, the film is free to swing for the fences (“Aquarius”) without losing its heart and soul, and “Virgin” has an abundance of both.

10.  War of the Worlds – Watching Spielberg’s tone poem to the horrors of sudden, unexpected, inexplicable catastrophe, I was flashbacked to the joys of youth, and the thrill of watching Godzilla wreak havoc on an impotent Tokyo. This was sheer schadenfreude, amputated from any sense of guilt by the fact that it was occurring on the other side of the world. Spielberg’s genius and audacity are quickly revealed as, moments after the first tripod wrenches itself from its asphalt entombment, it starts turning the citizenry into intangible ash, caking the survivors as they flee in totally believable horror. Call it gall, or call it balls; there is only one filmmaker working today who has the clout – and unassailability – to incorporate Holocaust and 9/11 imagery into a piece of summer fluff, and thereby achieve some of the most unexpectedly wrenching sequences of the cinematic year. Damn Cruise to hell and back for his all-too-public meltdown, distracting the world from an important piece in Spielberg’s canon.

(My apologies for the over-abundance of italicized, pretentious critic twaddle...)

Well, if you'd prefer, you're certainly free to opine away on my Oscar predix logged yesterday, or take up this topic, which I think is kinda fun, and I'm calling it "Making Exceptions"...

Take your least favorite film genre. Now, what are your three favorite films in that genre, and why?

So here are my predix, this time posted in the internet ether for one and all to see. I'm not gonna dissect them here, as we could be here for a long, long time if I did. I'm guessing that coffeefortwo  will do something similar, and now that this little competition has come out of its proverbial closet, I expect to now be thoroughly humiliated and taught a right-proper lessin' from mah Floreedah counterpart...

 

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Ralph Fiennes / THE CONSTANT GARDENER
Philip Seymour Hoffman / CAPOTE

Heath Ledger / BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Joaquin Phoenix / WALK THE LINE
David Strathairn / GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Joan Allen / THE UPSIDE OF ANGER

Judi Dench / MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS
Felicity Huffman / TRANSAMERICA
Charlize Theron / NORTH COUNTRY
Reese Witherspoon / WALK THE LINE

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
George Clooney / SYRIANA
Matt Dillon / CRASH
Paul Giamatti / CINDERELLA MAN
Jake Gyllenhaal / BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

William Hurt / A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Maria Bello / A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE
Catherine Keener/ CAPOTE
Frances McDormand / NORTH COUNTRY
Rachel Weisz / THE CONSTANT GARDENER
Michelle Williams / BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Best Achievement in Directing

A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE – David Cronenberg

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN – Ang Lee

THE CONSTANT GARDENER – Fernando Meirelles

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK – George Clooney

MUNICH – Steven Spielberg

Best Motion Picture

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

CAPOTE

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK

MUNICH

WALK THE LINE

Well, the SSSCS gets roused from a period of inactivity (but not personal inactivity, as Yours Truly has just survived one of the busiest three weeks in his seven-years-less-than-a-half-century lifetime) by the passing of the indispensable, irrepressible, unforgettable Shelley Winters to posit a morbid question...

What death of a cinematic artist (over the age of 70, please) would affect you most profoundly, and why?

(Actually, I'm in a much better mood than this question might imply, but your concern is noted and greatly appreciated.)

Since it is Christmas Weekend, a time for warm fuzzies and all that, I am going to give you an opportunity to strike back after days, if not weeks, of standing in line and waiting to buy shit, and vent on the following...

What is the worst film you saw in 2005?

Kindly note, my gentle snowflakes, I am not asking you necessarily for the worst 2005 release you saw, though you may choose to answer it any way you like.

Jingle Bells, everyone...

Thomas Wright's painting for "Silent Snow, Secret Snow," from an episode of, uh, "Light Salary"

Well, there are Christmas presents and there are Christmas presents, but some of the nicest ones to receive are those that crop up in odd little places, cost not a dime, but bring a smile to your face in ways that bring a warmth to the cold and scattered embers of your heart. Case in point; Barbara’s Bookshop is my favorite place in the neighborhood to pick up my weekly fix of books and magazines, and seldom leave without a $50 or greater purchase. When I interviewed for this job in July 2004, it was the first store I stopped at after my first Mass "audition," and found that, for the month, all books of Horror were discounted. This was a place I could live in, it told me. (Sadly, there’s been a lot that has told me otherwise, but since this is Christmas, we’ll stick with the happy thoughts.)

I also found out that there was an employee – "JD" by signature - who had peppered the store with personal recommendations, most of them strikingly similar to my own tastes; Christopher Bram, Michael Chabon, Stewart O’Nan, Richard Matheson, Marvel’s "Runaways" tpb, and the best in Horror – esp. anything with zombies (because "everybody loves a good zombie story"). Eventually I found out that this was DJ Intel; professional cinematographer, DJ and Horror connoisseur. He’s Good Folk, great to talk with, and keeps up with the latest horror releases in the theatres even more aggressively than Yours Truly. (His devotion to Natalie Portman has led to his inclusion on her imdb bio page (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000204/bio) and, unless he’s a stalker, that’s just pretty damn cool.)

Wright's painting for "The Messiah on Mott Street"

Now, Cakers, please take note; he also is one of the principal architects of the store’s Trivia Question, which, when answered correctly, accords you a 10% discount off the book of your choice. No, it’s no great savings, but it’s just a fun mind-mulcher that I get wrong far more often than I get right. Well, I stopped in tonight, and the question was, "Steven Spielberg got his first directing job by helming the pilot for what TV series?" Now, I’m not going to give away the answer here, but I will say that it rhymes with "Light Salary," and anyone who knows me knows that my love for this show is exceeded only by my passion for the aforementioned show’s host’s earlier effort, which rhymes with "Highlight Phone." Getting it right was the smallest of holiday gifts, but it was a nice concession that, yes, that one particular area of obsession you believed only you cared about is, at the very least, acknowledged by another human being. Thanks, DJ Intel. If anyone reading this is in the Windy City on Thursdays, check out the Lava Lounge to hear him bring down the house. (Oh, and DJ….technically, Spielberg only directed one-third of the pilot – the second installment of the made-for-TV movie that featured Joan Crawford as a tyrannical blind dowager who scavenges another man’s eyes for a few precious hours of sight, only to have her world remain in darkness as NYC is struck by a city-wide blackout – but Happy Holidays to you anyway, sir. You’re a gentleman and a scholar, and you know your gut-munching undead.)

And to all reading this post; may the days ahead be filled with little miracles of a similar nature. Happy Holidays to one and all…

I take you back to those years when this was the week you patiently waited for that last schoolbell to ring, the bell that meant no more classes, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks…at least until after the start of a new calendar year. That bell meant you now had anywhere from one to two weeks to play with the toys Santa would soon bring you, and you would hope for a killer snowstorm at the end of the vacation to extend your furlough. But, before that bell sounded…remember when your school decided, as a final Christmas gift, to gather the entire student body to show you a movie – usually, but not necessarily, Yuletide in theme? OK, soo….

What did you see? And do you have any pithy recollections?

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has spoken. Well, they’ll actually speak with finality on January 16^th, so I guess we could say that yesterday they cleared their collective throat…all the better to let endless platters of hors d’ouevres and canapés slide into their gullets at one press junket after another. Herewith a few observations…

• If I am ABC, I start funneling dollars into ad campaigns for King Kong, Munich, Memoirs of a Geisha and The Producers, so as to keep this from being the lowest-rated Oscars ever. Looks like 1996 all over again. And look! It’s a movie with Ralph Fiennes! And sand!

• It’s hard to see how Brokeback does not become the prohibitive Oscar favorite at this point, because it’s difficult to envision what stops it. Perhaps one of those afore-mentioned films is championed passionately enough to squeak into the Final Five, but it would create the unprecedented (I believe) Best Picture winner that didn’t even manage a GG nomination. Good Night…could well become the beneficiary of a "Stop Brokeback" groundswell, but the mavens on the Right aren’t gonna be all too thrilled with seeing that one triumph either. Clooney, who was everywhere yesterday, is gonna get some GG love; the question is how much and in what category (and Supporting for Syriana? Isn’t he the first name listed in the credits on the poster? Hell, he is the freakin’ poster!).

• Perhaps this will take some of the wind out of the sails of any Walk the Line Picture nod. It would have been shocking had it not received a Musical / Comedy citation, and Phoenix and Witherspoon are locks for noms. That’s where the support (correctly) ends.

• Here’s to Harry Gregson-Williams for a Score nod for Narnia. His Chicken Run work was ignored by damn near everyone, and he’s been plugging away ever since in flicks that require competence but seldom allow for excellence. And hands down, Brokeback scorer Gustavo Santaolalla wins the "GG Nominee Whose Name Is Most Fun to Say" Award.

• Thanks for the History of Violence nod, HFPA, but no David Cronenberg? Or William Hurt? Confounding.

• Scarlett Johansson get a Supporting Actress nod for a Woody picture. Time was when they’d just mail her the statue. This could be one of the more interesting races if these noms hold up through Oscar (but I also think Uma has a shot).

• Nathan Lane but not Matthew Broderick? Doesn’t the HFPA know how rude they’ve just been? These two have been joined at the hip for the last half-decade, and it’s gonna make for some prickly Odd Couple performances. (Were you actually in, say, NYC, you could actually, say, check it out). Imagine Thelma nominated but not Louise. (My choice of a female comparison is entirely intentional.) However, the right performer probably copped the nod, as a snubbed Lane would be utterly unbearable. (And an aside; does Farrell’s work look like anything he didn’t do week after week on SNL, albeit with a Teutonic accent?)

• Matthew, your nomination went to Pierce Brosnan. Yes, Pierce Brosnan.

• Joan Allen, fire your publicist. If you can’t get a GG nom for one of the best roles (The Upside of Anger) of your career – one that should have put you in the hunt if the picture had been released last year like it was supposed to – a head needs to roll somewhere.

• The crix think that Bello is Supporting; the Globes think she’s a lead. Hope the ads get that straightened out for her sake.

• A sure sign that I’m getting old; I was all ready to start mouthing off on how the Globes have loved Gwyneth for all these year, only to do the research and find this is her second nom, the first being Shakespeare. The nice thing about doing this on the radio is I could have BS’d about her nods for Talented Mr. Ripley and Sylvia, and coffeefortwo would have been gracious enough not to correct me. But print is forever, man. So now, not only do I not know what I think I know, but I don’t even know what I’m sure I know. Or knew.

Hey, you've got two more weeks to brave the shopping malls (Chicago shoppers...brrr) or point and click your way to someone else's Merry Jesusmas, so today's question is offered in the Spirit of the Season, which, more often than not, is the Quest for the Unattainable...

What are some Box Sets (visual media only, Point Cowtown), presently unavailable, that you'd like to see? Use any unifying factor you'd like (director, performer, franchise, etc), and, for this topic, we will not just open it up to TV, but you must cite at least one box set from both Film and TV.

CHRIS ROCK WILL NOT HOST THE OSCARS! CHRIS ROCK WILL NOT HOST THE OSCARS!CHRIS ROCK WILL NOT HOST THE OSCARS!CHRIS ROCK WILL NOT HOST THE OSCARS!CHRIS ROCK WILL NOT HOST THE OSCARS!CHRIS ROCK WILL NOT HOST THE OSCARS!CHRIS ROCK WILL NOT HOST THE OSCARS!

Thank you, Santa. Now get me laid.

2005 – Singles that I Liked

Well, my days of saying that 90FM should switch to an all-singles format have come back to haunt me, as, who cares about 90, the entire world has switched to an all-singles format. I’m one of the few individuals on the planet who doesn’t download. I buy the CD, thank you very much; since we’ve phased out vinyl completely, damnit, I want something to hold onto while I listen to the music – and stop snickering in the back. Besides, keeping up with current music releases has become a second career if done thoroughly, and who has the time? It would be arrogant to try to come up with a list of 10 or 20 Best of the Year – there is so much that has gone unheard, and if the UK press is to be believed, so much incredible music that has yet to cross the ocean (Clor, Editors, Hard-Fi, Rakes, Arctic Monkeys). So let’s just give a shout-out to a number of the tunes that brought joy and gaiety into my life (as if I needed more of the latter) in 2005…

(In no particular order)

Embrace, "Ashes" – Or, as I prefer to think of it, Coldplay minus pretension. As Mr. Martin and Company mutated into The Most Insufferably Self-Important Band in the World, it was left to other bands to produce those anthemic Brit classics that didn’t either pound you into submission with their bombast or wear out their welcome after three hearings. This single, from a group that has pleasantly survived over eight years of making solid, radio-friendly music, is the type that used to provide the backbone to College Rock (does that even exist anymore?) playlists in years gone by.

Athlete, "Half Light" – See above, with graceful little synth touches and bold leaps in melody that add a wistful poignancy. The video is a simple stunner.

LCD Soundsystem, "Daft Punk Is Playing at My House" – One of the great party albums of the year (oops, wasn’t gonna do that, but wanted ya to know), a polyglot of styles juggled with ease, grace and funky elan. It chugs along with an irresistible hook that made it one of the best roof-shakers of 2005, and even though it’s technically accomplished, it never feels like showboating.

Greens Keepers, "Filipino Phil" (house mix) – One of the giddiest tunes of the year, with absurdist lyrics about a Filipino midget who still lives with his mother and loves you very, very much – and that only hints at the strangeness therein. These Chicago guys have crafted a bizarre, un-PC dancefloor workout that will have you shaking your ass while you’re shaking your head….

Gogol Bordello, "Start Wearing Purple" - …but even Phil is staid and reserved compared to this. Think Ukrainian Pogues and you’ll get the idea. The first time I heard the tune, I didn’t; I was laughing and yelling too hard at the utter insanity of it all. File it under "Gypsy Punk," with strangled vocals, violin and accordion breaks, and a stomping uber-beat that commands you to break some plates. Cakers, if you do not embrace this song and act to your collective bosom, well, then I know you not.

Depeche Mode, "Precious" – After a decade and a half of dinking around with their classic sound, DM embraces their uniqueness and returns to creating the type of lush, haunting synthpop that it their stock-in-trade, and absolutely no one does it better. Add some painfully personal lyrics and a soulful Dave Gahan vocal (has he ever hit notes that high before? Beautiful…), and this is a magnificent return to form.

Kelly Osbourne, "One Word" – Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather had you told me a year ago that she would be on any list of mine, save for an anagram of "hits," but this was such a spot-on recreation of Ultravox and Visage that I just swooned. That bell-synth that doubles the octave nails the sound and the year (1983), but it’s the icy, unaffected vocals that pay the greatest homage to the Old Wave. Rest of the album sounded nothing like that, but I’m digressing again…

Ben Lee, "Catch My Disease" – There is a wonderful class of music fan out there who is instantly enraptured with the sound of a toy piano in the mix; kids, this one is for you. Definitely my feel-good song for 2005, also with handclaps and nah-nahs in the chorus. Hey, they may not play Ben on the radio, but that’s the way he likes it. And it’s Radio’s loss.

The Decemberists, "Sixteen Military Wives" – Can we pass a law that at least 50% of all alternative acts have to include brass? This swaggering slice of socio-political commentary was one of the great summer singles – and, hey! More nah-nahs!

Madonna, "Hung Up" – Let the cynical among us say that Madge only released a dance album to insure she would best Elvis’ 36 Chart Singles record. She demonstrated that no one in the last 20 years has more consistently known how to pack a dancefloor with a tune that we’ll still be shaking it to for the next 20 years.

Waking Ashland, "I Am for You" – Not the most original tune, not the most accomplished of musicians, not the most distinctive sound, but hey, I’m a sucker for any band where the lead singer is also the pianist. Comfort food for the ears.

Franz Ferdinand, "Do You Want To" – I wrote an earlier entry singing this song – and this album’s – praises, so I won't repeat myself. Wish they had conquered the world with this one, though; they deserved to.

Juliet, "Avalon" – Haunting electro-dance from a lanky beauty who knows how to move. For all the media exposure the videos got, her debut album is distressingly difficult to find in stores. I know, I know…download it…For a song that is based upon a mere two hooks, it has a haiku-like quality that turns around in your head as the simple lyric is inverted for alternating choruses. "We’ll take a holiday…"

Weezer, "Beverly Hills" – Mother of God, is there any other band that has had to endure suspicions of sell-out more frequently than Weezer? Here’s to them for recording a crunchy fist-shaker with a backbeat the size of Chernobyl, and damn what the blogs have to say. This is the song that subconsciously plays in my head every time I watch an episode of "Entourage."

VHS or Beta, "Night on Fire" – Oh, for the days when New Wave bands gingerly dipped their toes into Disco as a means of providing a bridge to the 80s. They work the groove until it threatens to become a rut, but it makes you want to combine your skinny tie with your leisure suit and get out there and move.

Husky Rescue, "Summertime Cowboy" – Always gotta hand it to Minty Fresh to unearth something from the other side of the globe that blows through your stereo with a fresh, crisp, undulating breeze. Airy and ephemeral but with surprising staying power, this is reminiscent of the Cardigans before their sound hardened, and refreshed after a hard day.

Kate Bush, "King of the Mountain" – Damn, but it’s good to hear her again. The voice has deepened ever so slightly, but all the better for keeping the gossamer material from spiraling away in the breeze. The faux-reggae rhythm reminds us what a genius she is with percussion. Love it when she briefly takes on an Elvis lisp.

Annie, "Chewing Gum" – An utter guilty pleasure, but I’ll testify to its craft anywhere, with a beat swiped from the Tom Tom Club and attitude that belies its chirpy delivery. Bubble gum pop like this is too smart to catch on in the US.

OK Go, "A Million Ways" – Catchy single, but this is the Video of the Year, with the band, in the backyard, dancing. Honest to God dancing. Modern dance. In one continuous, uninterrupted take. I bought the album just to support them on principle.

Kaiser Chiefs, "I Predict a Riot" – Overplayed as all hell, but infectious, loud and British, and the best evidence that, through surrogates, the Jam will never die, even though Paul Weller may be getting a bit long in the tooth. Now for that difficult Second Album; I predict the guys will be up for it.

 

See? I can write about things other than horror. OK, everyone, your turn…

Went to the bookstore yesterday and picked up the latest issue of Film Score Monthly, only to discover that it is the last issue; Lukas Kendall will try to continue the magazine as a for-subscription website. I spoke with Lukas over a year ago while trying to cobble together a theater promotion that never ultimately materialized, and he could not have been more gracious or willing to assist. (He is also a fellow devotee of Jerry Goldsmith, and we spoke soon after the Maestro’s death.) I wish him only the best, and hope that his labor of love flourishes in the uncertain waters of the World-wide Web.

www.filmscoremonthly.com

In that spirit, here’s our question for the week…

What are your favorite instrumental Main Title movie themes, and why? (We’ll save the ones with lyrics for another day.)